Proposed category addition: Polyamorous

[the-real-me]

The existing category non-monogamous only goes part of the way, establishing whether a user is monogamous or not. However, to get a full picture of someone's relationship leanings, I would propose that you add the new category Polyamorous.

Searching for 'polyamor' in OkC's questions brings up a lot of good questions on this topic. Some of them are more frequently answered than others. If you would like a suggestion of which questions to include, please send me an e-mail and I will make a list of suggestions for you.

Best,
K.

[Wyrdbyrd]

I like the idea of at least adding more questions to the non-monogamy section to get an idea of exactly what sort of non-monogamy we're talking about: swinging, polyfidelity, OPPs (polygamy and/or polyandry), relationship anarchy, group marriage, triad-only, seeking a "unicorn", poly only when "single", etc.

Heck, the more I write, the more I'm tempted to agree that that the new polyamorous category might be a good idea. o.O

[shellysp]

On Apr 2, 2016, at 05:44, the-real-me notifications@github.com wrote:

The existing category non-monogamous only goes part of the way, establishing whether a user is monogamous or not. However, to get a full picture of someone's relationship leanings, I would propose that you add the new category Polyamorous.

Searching for 'polyamor' in OkC's questions brings up a lot of good questions on this topic. Some of them are more frequently answered than others. If you would like a suggestion of which questions to include, please send me an e-mail and I will make a list of suggestions for you.

Best,
K.

This is a posting on FetLine from about five years ago. I was surprised to realize that there were a number of questions among them that I’d not answered. Some of them have been suggested by others as well. I usually do a big dump of suggestions from the Developer mode within OKC and then alpha sort and process duplicates automatically rather than trying to track duplicates as I go.

The best way to use www.okcupid.com as a poly person is to

(1) fill in your profile with the word polyamory or polyamorous marked as an interest

(2) answer at least 100 matching questions, marking the polyamory-related answers as "very important" or "mandatory" for your ideal match to answer in that particular way

(3) search for and contact people with high match percentages when you have close to or more than 100 answered match questions overlapping. Ignore high match percentages when the other person has fewer than the 100 overlapping questions answered - its basically meaningless.

Its not always easy to find the poly-related questions though, so here's a helpful list of the ones that qualify in my opinion :

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=36
Would you ever consider an open marriage? That means you can sleep with other people.

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=136
Would you get upset if your girlfriend/boyfriend flirted in front of you?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=152
If you had a one-night stand DURING a relationship, would you confess to your mate?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=325
Would you consider having an open relationship, where you can see other people?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=361
Would you be upset if you saw your boyfriend or girlfriend checking someone else out?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=364

If you're dating someone, is it okay for your partner to kiss another person closed-mouth, on the lips, as a hello?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=440
If someone chooses to wait for marriage to have sex, that is...

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=571
Would you SERIOUSLY date someone now whom you knew you absolutely could not marry?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=678
Do you think that people should be allowed to marry more than one person at a time?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=744
Do you consider yourself a truly honest person, in all aspects of your life?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=784
Would you be okay with your significant other spending a lot of time with one of his/her exes (as a friend)?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=946
Do you consider yourself to be good at clear verbal communication?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=1121
Have you ever had multiple romantic partners during the same time period?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=1128
Would you date someone who was already in a committed relationship with someone else?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=16371
Someone in an open relationship asks you out on a date. You:

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=18564
Do you believe that it is possible to experience romantic love for more than one person at a time without loving one less because of your love for the other?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=23632
Do you believe in monogamy?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=26231
Do you take prevention of STD transmission seriously (making sure your partner has been tested, using protection, being upfront if you're at risk, etc.)?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=26387
Do you bring up STD results/risk factors before you start fooling around?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=28742
Is it okay for a married person to play around with someone with the permission of their spouse?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=29951
Do you think it is possible to have more than one soul mate in a single lifetime?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=30512
Is it OK for a person in a serious relationship to use OkCupid to make new friends?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=33107
Would you consider being part of a commited polyamorous relationship - ie, three or more people but no sex outside the group?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=35976
How would you feel if your partner asked you to get tested for STDs before having sex with you for the first time?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=37772
If you had to choose one for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

http://www.okcupid.com/questions/ask?rqid=48278
Would you consider dating someone who is already involved in an open or polyamorous relationship?

[darringtondarque]

Hello, I have presented a list of poly-related questions in this reddit thread if you care to take a look. It includes the ones mentioned above, as well as a bunch more, as explained in the thread.