Hyperlink audit time! ... hooray.

content/post/2015/10/24_hugo.md

@@ -7,7 +7,7 @@ draft = false
 
 This has been "in the works" (barely) for a while, but I've finally transitioned the Glog to a fully static site.  I'm now using the <a href="https://gohugo.io">Hugo</a> site generator, with a personal modification of the <a href="https://github.com/cxfksword/greyshade">Greyshade</a> theme, to render and serve Glog pages completely statically.
 
-Why the move away from [WordPress]($SiteBaseURL$2013/05/11/onward-and-upward/)?  Well, aside from the ever-present risk of <a href="http://www.cvedetails.com/vulnerability-list/vendor_id-2337/product_id-4096/">shitty PHP exploits</a>, I just got sick of running software upgrades on the site, and its plugins, that required me to re-apply Glog customizations.  Now I can write a post in my text editor, hit a button to publish it online, and never have to worry about the site again until <i>I decide that I want to</i>.
+Why the move away from [WordPress]($SiteBaseURL$2013/05/11/onward-and-upward/)?  Well, aside from the ever-present risk of <a href="https://www.cvedetails.com/vulnerability-list/vendor_id-2337/product_id-4096/">shitty PHP exploits</a>, I just got sick of running software upgrades on the site, and its plugins, that required me to re-apply Glog customizations.  Now I can write a post in my text editor, hit a button to publish it online, and never have to worry about the site again until <i>I decide that I want to</i>.
 
 Editing my Hugo theme is a lot easier than screwing around with a PHP theme in WordPress, too, although it still has the same basic problem of not making it very clear what templates/functions live in the core framework vs. what lives in the theme customizations.
 

content/post/2015/11/17_ssb_cloud.md

@@ -7,4 +7,4 @@ platform = [ "WiiU" ]
 title = "God damn you, Uematsu!"
 +++
 
-Even more so than playing [Super Smash Bros.](game:Super Smash Bros. for Wii U) again, <a href="http://www.vg247.com/2015/11/12/final-fantasy-7s-cloud-joins-super-smash-bros-roster/">this musically-splendid trailer</a> really makes me want to revisit [FF7](game:Final Fantasy VII).  Where that remake at, guys?
+Even more so than playing [Super Smash Bros.](game:Super Smash Bros. for Wii U) again, <a href="https://www.vg247.com/2015/11/12/final-fantasy-7s-cloud-joins-super-smash-bros-roster/">this musically-splendid trailer</a> really makes me want to revisit [FF7](game:Final Fantasy VII).  Where that remake at, guys?

content/post/2015/12/26_paintitback.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ rating = [ "Awesome" ]
 title = "Not to be confused with the similarly-named Rolling Stones song"
 +++
 
-I fucking love picross!  Nonograms!  Shit is tight.  And apparently I'm <a href="http://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2015/12/20/all-through-the-house">not the only one</a> -- yes, we are a cult in very high esteem/notoriety/infamy.
+I fucking love picross!  Nonograms!  Shit is tight.  And apparently I'm <a href="https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2015/12/20/all-through-the-house">not the only one</a> -- yes, we are a cult in very high esteem/notoriety/infamy.
 
 Anyway.  <game:Paint it Back>'s simple aesthetic belies a <b>stunningly</b> rich amount of puzzle content.  This ain't no bite-sized <game:Picross e> slapjob; there are, uh, <i>152</i> puzzles?  That I know of?  Plus a mode that throws out random puzzles, which, I don't know how many of those there are.  Maybe an infinite amount?  No, that's not mathematically possible.  But probably <i>a fucking lot</i>.
 

content/post/2015/12/29_wolfenstein_theneworder.md

@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ title = "A New Wolf for a New Era"
 
 I never got into the "pure" FPS sub-genre -- your Dooms, your Serious Sams, what have you.  So it's a good thing that <game:Wolfenstein: The New Order> actually has a lot more than mere "purism" going for it.  Sure, yeah, it has assault rifles and linear levels and you fight a bunch of Nazis.  And the gameplay extras don't really add up to much -- some health upgrades, some skippable weapon enhancements and perks.  But to me, the real story in New Order is ... uh.  The story.
 
-Even in the game's introductory WWII sequence, its narrative feels like the star of the show.  B.J. Blazkowicz has a burdensome past (...which I <a href="http://wolfenstein.wikia.com/wiki/Wolfenstein_Wiki">had to research</a>) and his compatriots build up personalities of their own very quickly.  The characters B.J. interacts with throughout story missions show real senses of humanity, and the events - in both historic backstory and real-time gameplay - are genuinely interesting and well-written.  And the soundtrack is just phenomenal, a great combination of ominous ambience, thrilling action riffs, awe-inspiring environment cues, and chilling alternate-history Imperial Germany versions of 1960s pop music.
+Even in the game's introductory WWII sequence, its narrative feels like the star of the show.  B.J. Blazkowicz has a burdensome past (...which I <a href="https://wolfenstein.wikia.com/wiki/Wolfenstein_Wiki">had to research</a>) and his compatriots build up personalities of their own very quickly.  The characters B.J. interacts with throughout story missions show real senses of humanity, and the events - in both historic backstory and real-time gameplay - are genuinely interesting and well-written.  And the soundtrack is just phenomenal, a great combination of ominous ambience, thrilling action riffs, awe-inspiring environment cues, and chilling alternate-history Imperial Germany versions of 1960s pop music.
 
 The fact that the gameplay sequences inbetween New Order's expertly-directed cutscenes are all about <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YM3AYZaTZ0">killin' Nazis</a> is just icing on the cake.
 

content/post/2016/01/03_herstory.md

@@ -18,4 +18,4 @@ Although the end is a bit of an immersion-breaking let-down, the (brief) ride th
 
 <b>Better than</b>: <game:Gone Home>  
 <b>Not as good as</b>: <game:BioShock Infinite>, I guess?, I don't fuckin' know what's comparable.  
-<b>One specific complaint</b>: The "Delete Session Data" function <a href="http://steamcommunity.com/app/368370/discussions/0/530645446327020006/">deletes more than just "session" data</a>.  That was annoying.
+<b>One specific complaint</b>: The "Delete Session Data" function <a href="https://steamcommunity.com/app/368370/discussions/0/530645446327020006/">deletes more than just "session" data</a>.  That was annoying.

content/post/2016/01/26_lastword.md

@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ Unfortunately, one of the biggest problems with Last Word is that this combat is
 
 But it's an easy shortcoming to get over, because the word-battling is also very mechanically deep.  There are two separate resources to manage, there is a buff/debuff point scale, there is a tug-of-war line to balance, there is a rock-paper-scissors cycle to move elements -- and this is all before special <i>upgrade</i> abilities come into play.  It takes several fights to get the hang of all of Last Word's knobs and dials, but what's really remarkable is that even in the game's most difficult battles, every resource and every move can have an important purpose.
 
-Outside of combat, the game is a well-written (and excellently-typed) story about aristocratic houses, a <a href="http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BottleEpisode">bottle episode</a> mystery, and the fascinating foibles of a world where people fight each other with words.  Although the critical path is rather short, there is a wealth of optional content to explore, that feels worthwhile just for the sake of filling in blanks in the game's backstory.
+Outside of combat, the game is a well-written (and excellently-typed) story about aristocratic houses, a <a href="https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BottleEpisode">bottle episode</a> mystery, and the fascinating foibles of a world where people fight each other with words.  Although the critical path is rather short, there is a wealth of optional content to explore, that feels worthwhile just for the sake of filling in blanks in the game's backstory.
 
 It's a shame, then, that a non-trivial amount of that optional content requires experience-grinding or pixel-hunting to unlock.  And there are a few extras that can be permanently missed as the game progresses; they're not relevant to the storytelling, so it's not a big deal, but still a slightly obnoxious design quirk.
 

content/post/2016/02/09_murdered.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ rating = [ "Meh" ]
 title = "One titular pun does not a murder-mystery make"
 +++
 
-For the first 20 minutes or so, all I wanted to do was ignore <game:Murdered: Soul Suspect>'s incredibly ham-fisted narration.  But I couldn't!  The game's introduction, at least, is painfully cutscene-heavy, and written with all the elegance and subtlety of an <a href="http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Ancient_Psychic_Tandem_War_Elephant">Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant</a>.  Yes, let's jump-cut between a bunch of three-second flashbacks in the protagonist's life that happen to directly establish his personality and his relevant relationships to other characters.  And then add some more non-interactive bits that literally reiterate the game's plot, and mandatory dialog sessions that serve as nothing more than a dressed-up text tutorial.
+For the first 20 minutes or so, all I wanted to do was ignore <game:Murdered: Soul Suspect>'s incredibly ham-fisted narration.  But I couldn't!  The game's introduction, at least, is painfully cutscene-heavy, and written with all the elegance and subtlety of an <a href="https://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Ancient_Psychic_Tandem_War_Elephant">Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant</a>.  Yes, let's jump-cut between a bunch of three-second flashbacks in the protagonist's life that happen to directly establish his personality and his relevant relationships to other characters.  And then add some more non-interactive bits that literally reiterate the game's plot, and mandatory dialog sessions that serve as nothing more than a dressed-up text tutorial.
 
 The game's sense of storytelling is an ironic interpretation of the "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Show,_don%27t_tell">show, don't tell</a>" principle.  Just because the rigorously-methodical writing is "shown" in a cutscene doesn't ... ugh.  It's not good.
 

content/post/2016/03/10_bearsimulator.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ rating = [ "Bad" ]
 title = "I don't know what I expected"
 +++
 
-<a href="http://i.imgur.com/jDTGT.jpg">Well</a>-- actually, what I expected based on the <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1330754003/bear-simulator">campaign</a> was a little joke game with some satirical nods to sandboxes like [Skyrim](game:The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim) and [GTA 5](game:Grand Theft Auto V).  But that expectation faded once <game:Bear Simulator>'s campaign updates indicated that the developer was trying to ... make a real game, I guess.
+<a href="https://i.imgur.com/jDTGT.jpg">Well</a>-- actually, what I expected based on the <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1330754003/bear-simulator">campaign</a> was a little joke game with some satirical nods to sandboxes like [Skyrim](game:The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim) and [GTA 5](game:Grand Theft Auto V).  But that expectation faded once <game:Bear Simulator>'s campaign updates indicated that the developer was trying to ... make a real game, I guess.
 
 And the result is, aside from being fairly un-funny, just a poor game in general.  Even disregarding its graphical infidelities (distracting pop-in and jagged terrain, for example), the game's mechanics and stats are poorly explained, and trying to do something as simple as bear-swipe a duck is bafflingly frustrating.
 

content/post/2016/04/03_uncharted.md

@@ -12,6 +12,6 @@ Playing [the first Uncharted](game:Uncharted: Drake's Fortune) again on <platfor
 
 Oh, did I [already complain about this]($SiteBaseURL$2010/12/25/uncharted-drakes-fortune-2/)?  Huh.
 
-Yeah, it's still just <b>bad</b>.  (Here's hoping for that <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464335/">film adaptation</a>.)
+Yeah, it's still just <b>bad</b>.  (Here's hoping for that <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464335/">film adaptation</a>.)
 
 <i>Progress: Somewhere in the stupid jungle.  Who can tell.</i>

content/post/2016/04/24_jobsimulator.md

@@ -12,4 +12,4 @@ Sure, [Job Simulator](game:Job Simulator: The 2050 Archives) fits firmly in the
 
 But the genius of Job Simulator is that it's hit upon the most entertaining part of current VR technology, which is <b>simulated throwing</b>.  Although it's dressed up in a variety of ways, and the sense of humor helps to sell it, all of the most fun parts of Job Simulator are when you're using the Vive controllers to pick up an object and then toss it -- into a trash can, at a non-player character, or just anywhere in the virtual room.
 
-It's a highly enjoyable application of VR, and has me seriously considering the purchase of <a href="http://store.steampowered.com/app/358040/">hundreds of dollars of equipment</a> just to play it whenever I want.
+It's a highly enjoyable application of VR, and has me seriously considering the purchase of <a href="https://store.steampowered.com/app/358040/">hundreds of dollars of equipment</a> just to play it whenever I want.

content/post/2016/05/15_civilization6.md

@@ -7,6 +7,6 @@ platform = [ "PC" ]
 title = "Back to Earth"
 +++
 
-Reading the <a href="http://www.vg247.com/2016/05/11/civilization-6-in-development-for-pc-releases-in-october/">feature promises</a> for [Civ 6](game:Sid Meier's Civilization VI), it's pretty clear that this - and not [Beyond Earth](game:Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth) - was always meant to be the next step in the franchise after [Civ 5: Brave New World](game:Sid Meier's Civilization V: Brave New World).  So, it's good to see that progress is being made on truly enhancing and tuning the core Civilization game.
+Reading the <a href="https://www.vg247.com/2016/05/11/civilization-6-in-development-for-pc-releases-in-october/">feature promises</a> for [Civ 6](game:Sid Meier's Civilization VI), it's pretty clear that this - and not [Beyond Earth](game:Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth) - was always meant to be the next step in the franchise after [Civ 5: Brave New World](game:Sid Meier's Civilization V: Brave New World).  So, it's good to see that progress is being made on truly enhancing and tuning the core Civilization game.
 
 And I guess I'm glad that I never sprung for Beyond Earth, now.

content/post/2016/06/19_zelda_breathofthewild.md

@@ -10,4 +10,4 @@ title = "A Breath of Fresh Wild"
 
 I remarked to multiple other E3-observers that I literally <b>did not believe</b> that Nintendo was capable of making a game like the <a href="https://gfycat.com/SharpFlamboyantImperatorangel">one they just showed</a>.  I would be more inclined to believe that it was a <a href="https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/09/12">bullshot fabrication</a> than a real product of Nintendo EAD's traditional, tightly-scripted assembly lines.
 
-So hearing that <a href="http://www.vg247.com/2016/06/20/xenoblade-chronicles-dev-working-on-the-legend-of-zelda-breath-of-the-wild/">an open-world RPG developer is actually doing it</a> makes a lot, lot more sense.  Which is good, because now I can actually believe that this refreshingly-free-spirited adventure might really exist.
+So hearing that <a href="https://www.vg247.com/2016/06/20/xenoblade-chronicles-dev-working-on-the-legend-of-zelda-breath-of-the-wild/">an open-world RPG developer is actually doing it</a> makes a lot, lot more sense.  Which is good, because now I can actually believe that this refreshingly-free-spirited adventure might really exist.

content/post/2016/12/27_bioshock_remastered.md

@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ title = "Re-loaded, Re-spliced, and Re-harvested"
 
 Technologically, <game:BioShock Remastered> holds up pretty good -- the textures are a little fuzzy, and the geometry is a little sharp, but it's a solid update to a ... yikes, really? <b>nine year old</b> game.  (Setting aside the depressing return of the game's original launch bugs, like crazy FOV and mouse acceleration, and random crashes in the middle of Hephaestus.)
 
-In terms of design, though, it shows that [the original BioShock](game:BioShock) hasn't aged all that well.  The water-pipe hacking puzzles I remember so fondly from 2008 seemed like more of a chore, this time -- granted, one that I still took up at every opportunity.  The plasmid powers, once awe-inspiring and shocking (<a href="http://i.imgur.com/sPwgpLj.gif">rimshot</a>), felt more familiar and rote.  The narrative's full-bodied characters and compelling twists were lackluster, not so much because I saw them coming, but because, well...
+In terms of design, though, it shows that [the original BioShock](game:BioShock) hasn't aged all that well.  The water-pipe hacking puzzles I remember so fondly from 2008 seemed like more of a chore, this time -- granted, one that I still took up at every opportunity.  The plasmid powers, once awe-inspiring and shocking (<a href="https://i.imgur.com/sPwgpLj.gif">rimshot</a>), felt more familiar and rote.  The narrative's full-bodied characters and compelling twists were lackluster, not so much because I saw them coming, but because, well...
 
 The industry has learned from BioShock, now.  <game:Deus Ex: Human Revolution> and [Mankind Divided](game:Deus Ex: Mankind Divided) are great examples: Combinations of interesting characters, engrossing action, and diverse mechanics are not all <i>that</i> rare, and they've continued to evolve in the near-decade since Andrew Ryan invited us to Rapture.
 

content/post/2016/12/27_phraseshift.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ rating = [ "Meh" ]
 title = "A Shift of Phrase"
 +++
 
-I first saw <game:Phrase Shift> pop up on the <a href="http://store.steampowered.com/app/535980/">Steam store</a>, and I thought -- you know, this looks like it would work better as a mobile game.  Lo and behold, it had already been out on <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ca.hyperhippo.phraseshift">Google Play</a> for some time; and yeah, it did work really well with a touchscreen.
+I first saw <game:Phrase Shift> pop up on the <a href="https://store.steampowered.com/app/535980/">Steam store</a>, and I thought -- you know, this looks like it would work better as a mobile game.  Lo and behold, it had already been out on <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=ca.hyperhippo.phraseshift">Google Play</a> for some time; and yeah, it did work really well with a touchscreen.
 
 And I did have fun with it for a while, because hey, word games are cool.  But it's hard for this game to stand in the shadow of <game:Monkey Wrench> when it has <i>so much</i> less content, and also feels like it is growing that content more slowly.  (Phrase Shift has daily puzzles, but each puzzle is significantly smaller than one of Monkey Wrench's.)
 

content/post/2016/12/27_untildawn.md

@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ title = "From Dusk till I Got Bored"
 
 It is at times a master class in tension building -- when a lighthearted snowball fight is bookended by carefully exploring dark passages or running from a wild animal, Until Dawn does a fantastic job of raising your heart rate, cooling it back down, and jacking it up again.
 
-And then there are the psychoanalysis scenes.  Inbetween game chapters, <a href="http://until-dawn.wikia.com/wiki/Dr._Hill">Peter Stormare</a> asks you to look at ink blots and tries to very obviously manipulate you into feeling uneasy.  From reading ahead about the game, I know that his character makes more sense later on, but it still feels like an unnecessary interruption to the story.
+And then there are the psychoanalysis scenes.  Inbetween game chapters, <a href="https://until-dawn.wikia.com/wiki/Dr._Hill">Peter Stormare</a> asks you to look at ink blots and tries to very obviously manipulate you into feeling uneasy.  From reading ahead about the game, I know that his character makes more sense later on, but it still feels like an unnecessary interruption to the story.
 
 What brings Until Dawn down the most, though, is the realization that, while it does a great job of emulating a teen thriller movie -- there isn't much more to it.  The characters, the setting, and story beats all draw from well-established stereotypes of slasher films.  It's <i>predictable</i>.